Week 18 Thursday (Year 1)

Readings: Numbers 20:1-13; Psalm 94; Matthew 16:13-23

There is normally at least one moment of hesitation in the execution of any serious task. Why did I agree to take this on? Do I really have to do this? The 'noonday devil' about which the Fathers of the Desert speak was understood by Thomas Aquinas to be about this phenomenon: at the mid-point of any undertaking, some way into it, the chances are it will become tedious, never-ending, too much, and one might even be tempted to give it up altogether.

We get two such moments in today's readings. The people being led out of Egypt by Moses say 'we have gone from bad to worse, we are in a wretched place, better if we had remained slaves in Egypt: at least we would have figs and grapes whereas here we don't even have water'. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know: better to stay with the slavery that is familiar and somehow comfortable than to continue the journey towards a freedom not yet experienced, still only promised.

Peter's expression of faith is followed immediately by Jesus' first prediction of his passion. 'Heaven preserve you, Lord', says Peter, or words to that effect, 'this must not happen'. We have reached a satisfactory point in the process, Peter seems to say, why look to such a dreadful outcome to the journey. 'Get behind me Satan', Jesus says - whatever kind of devil Peter is at that moment is firmly rejected by Jesus who has his eye on the Father and the Father's will no matter what difficulties attend his way.

We need to become accustomed to thinking in God's way, then, to remain in God's presence at all moments of the journey, particularly those times when things become difficult and people become tetchy and we are tempted even to put God to the test. Many times it will seem that the slavery we know is better than the freedom we don't know. 'Jesus tamed' causes nobody any problem. 'Jesus free' leads us onward towards the joy and glory of God's holiness.

But holiness is testing and uncompromising. So before you jump in too quickly to answer Jesus' question, 'who do you say I am?', think about the implications of your answer, and the journey it will require of you, and what you will need if you are to persevere on that journey.